Defense Mechanism are Inherent in Human Culture

Your self-concept will be restricted by defenses such as false pride, denial, or blame and will try to ward off feelings from fear, worry, shame, or guilt. Defense mechanisms are meant to guard your self-image (your opinion of yourself) so you remain secure and confident providing you with stability while encouraging growth throughout your life. A predictable image maintains your status quo (as seen by habits that bound your life). Until you become aware of and accept God's love for you, you'll be burdened with this self-concept/image disconnect instead of blending them together so your true self-worth is derived from your decision to love God and take on Christ's identity (Galatians 3:27). Learning God's Word helps you discern the Truth and when you learn the loving character of God, you awaken to a new identity that isn't built on yours or someone else's evaluation of you. It's based your acceptance of God's love for you, as you are. 

 

Failing to accept this truth, prevents you from walking in the freedom Christ died to give you, and everyone who believes in Him (Galatians 5:1, Romans 10:12-13, 1 Timothy 2:4).​ The blockage to becoming a new creature in-Christ is within you. It's your true/real sense of self - your personal assessment of your worth* that fuels your self-image. Think of your self-image as the vulnerable core that lies beneath your expressed personality. It's vulnerable because it is the sole authority of self-direction. If you stand on the false hope that you are strong enough to be successful on your own, you'll fall victim to stagnation from false pride (Galatians 6:7-9, James 2:17-20).

 

Your willingness to change doesn’t occur until the pain to remain the same outweighs the anticipated pain of learning a new habit. Pain has a way of awaking you to the reality of a situation and alerting you that action needs to be taken to address it. Everyone can fall victim to justification (creating excuses that diminish the need to change), but pain has a way of penetrating your psyche so that you do respond to the alert.

• What is your tendency?

• Do you tend to try to deny the reality of consequences or blame others for your misfortunes?

If so, you are probably experiencing (and are stuck in) a relative reality, one you've become comfortable with. Is it  because you make an unconscious decision to put up with the negative consequences of a habit you like; or is it because the consequences were so bad that you could no longer live with the habit because you "hit bottom"? (Defined in Appendix 1B in the middle of the page titled "The Concept of Hitting Bottom").

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How Do You Learn?

The pain from "hitting bottom" awakens you to the Truth that your habit of choice is counterproductive, and this is typically when you make a personal decision to change (as opposed to someone else trying to make you change). This is when you look at your options, turn to God and are ready to accept His word as the authority on Truth so the recovery cycle can begin. Failing to learn from past mistakes and not adjusting your expectations and decisions based on Truth (rather than opinions and even personal experiences), are signs that you have a fragile self-concept. Having a fragile self-concept (and denying it) creates more uncertainty and this adds negativity to your thoughts. Anxiety* becomes associated with your unproductive habits because of the physical and cognitive confusion that takes place (a result of cognitive dissonance) and becomes harder and takes more attempts to be able to fix. Knowing God's Truth and that it is cushioned by the boundaries of love and justice, secures you and sets you free from defensiveness and kick starts the acceptance of change process (rather than allowing defensiveness to reject possible improvements to your self-image). 

• Anxiety is an example of how a feeling can impact behavior. At its extreme, anxiety is like pouring gasoline on a spark; it disintegrates everything in its path. The Christian faith is the water you use to put out the fire so you can rebuild (Ezekiel 11:19-20).

• More on anxiety in the “Still Anxious”? tab.

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Instead of deciding to continue living with the short-term gratification (which requires no self-discipline), decide to

turn over your autonomy to God. Once you accept and believe, you'll be strengthen by the Holy Spirit to change. Don’t just believe in Jesus, but know the character of God and the helping nature of the Holy Spirit so you’ll develop the will to walk like Jesus did (John 7:28-29, 37-39). Your knowledgeable faith will teach you to wait and trust in God’s timing as you walk through the peaks and valley's of life. As you do, don’t loose the humility of learning from your past missteps. If you remain humble, then you'll voluntarily enter the change cycle until you get it right (fully recognizing that without accepting Christ’s finished work on the cross, you wouldn’t even have had the opportunity to get it right.)

 

The feeling of tension from learning new skills is typically accompanied by both excitement and fear. For example, performing in a play on opening night is exciting unless you allow fear to override it. You may choose to focus on the fear you feel rather than the excitement and reward of a well-rehearsed performance thereby turning the neutrality of performance tension into paralyzing anxiety. This feeling of insecurity holds you back from growth, change, and possible rewards. If not corrected, you’ll let fear win and you limit your future possibilities. When you have a secure self-image, you error on the side of thinking about what's possible which enables you to take the necessary risks in life that ensure your healthy development (Appendix 1T). Insecurity from a lack of confidence keeps you stuck in emotion and inaction is the result, which only perpetuates the problem. Don’t stay stagnate! When an opportunity presents itself to you that requires you to change, fight off the feeling of comfort and embrace the opportunity to develop new skills. Use your faith!

• Can you identify the difference between learning a new skill and the anxious feeling that may arise due to a lack of trust that activates anxiety? Read about the link between learning and uncertainty in the article "Anxiety impairs judgment ..." at https://www.brown.edu/news/2020-05-01/trust.

• Do you tolerate the performance tension from learning new skills to match new goals; or do you continue to do old habits impulsively because you can’t push through short term discomfort of learning new skills?

• Read more in the Still Anxious? tab about how to "Subdue your Soul".

• Reread the Introduction for more on the analogy regarding anxiety and a theater production.

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As a Christian, you have the power to win this battle over the mind and body connection; the more you learn of God, the more confidence you gain in your attack against your bad habit(s). Nurture and rely on your relationship with God so you achieve the victory that awaits. Godly goals birth skills that, with time and insight, win the battle over bad habits. Remember that practice isn't perfect* and it will take many repetitions to become a productive habit/skill in your life. As you begin living life “In Christ”, you will learn to develop the “fruit” of the Spirit and, with time, you’ll be able to fully express Godly habits so you learn to be resilient and have the tenacity to overcome obstacles to achieving your new normal.​​​​​​​​​