Appendix 1T; Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Have you ever found yourself wondering where "that" came from? "That" is a filler word. When feelings arise in you, what do you do with them?
From Impulsive to Intentional Behavior
Being able to identify your own as well as the feelings of others is the start to responding to others with emotional intelligence. In her article entitled, "From Impulsive to Intentional", Denise Fournier, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and adjunct professor at Nova Southeastern University, says that being mindful can lead to wiser choices and ties wise choices back to the wisdom of your goal. In Psychologist Daniel Goleman's book entitled; "Working with Emotional Intelligence (EQ)", the importance of humility to emotional IQ / well-being is emphasized. With humility comes the ability to slow your response down so you will implement the one that will lead to a collaborative approach to problem-solving rather than a competitive, win/lose, approach.
Humans are complex social and emotional beings whose well-being depends on communicating needs. Possessing Goleman’s 5 characteristics arms you with a perspective with which to view the information you receive so you can respond logically. Take time to hear the information being communicated to you by listening before allowing your emotions to interrupt a conversation. Take a second to evaluate your thoughts and then decide on an intentional response. Like Seligman’s PERMA model (APPENDIX 1S), Goldman’s scientific work reveals that the traits necessary for EQ are consistent with the traits illustrated in the Bible. Below is a summary of the factors he identified:
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For another way to look at emotional intelligence, see https://www.mbaknol.com/modern-management-concepts/the-four-branch-model-of-emotional-intelligence/ .
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Read more on how mindfulness helps make intentional decisions https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindfully-present-fully-alive/201708/impulsive-intentional.
Both a personal counselor and a business consultant can bring insight into their interpersonal work relationships by achieving balance in their thinking. They do this by the practice of self-discipline. Keeping their job as a personal counselor and/or a business consultant requires the person to listen before making a judgment. They both invest their time to understand others. They balance their goals of accepting you as who you are with improving your performance by encouraging your improvement without damaging your self-concept. They take the time to find out about you before offering unique suggestions based on your personality rather, then offering ”one size fits all” solutions. Or take another example. The practice of self-discipline is common in athletes too.
Think of emotional intelligence as necessary self-imposed discipline on your emotions so can maximize interpersonal relationships. For Christians it's helpful to look at the definition of Biblical love as a love that sacrifices self-interest for the benefit of another person who is in need. See Appendix 2T for more.