Flexibility in personality style
1. The way you react and respond to other people’s opinions is a habit based on your own personality style (see Appendix 2I & Appendix 2J). You can alter personality habits (your comfort zone) by making the decision to learn to flex your style to make the other person comfortable with you. Are you willing?
a) For example, an Amiable personality wants to maintain peace and calm while a Driver wants to achieve a goal and be seen by others as right. Is your goal to “win” the other person to your way of thinking or is it to maintain the relationship? What does your comfort zone communicate to others about you that you my not even be aware of?
2. When a disagreement occurs, do you overcome your emotions and flex your personality style to prevent a cycle of conflict?
a. Do you get easily offended or do you try to look at the situation with love and from the other person’s perspective?
b. When involved in a dispute, can you settle for an “our way” solution rather than an “all or nothing” solution? (See section 2: “Minimizing Conflict”.)
c. How will you balance your psychological need to be right, to win, or to get what you want when you want it with your social needs of belonging and acceptance? What slices of the fruit of the Spirit do you need to cultivate so you maximize interpersonal relationships; love, peace, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faith and/or self-control?
3. How do you feel about having to be the one to flex your style?