Appendix 2J; Self or Spirit-Controlled Personality?
Self-based thoughts lead to extremes in personality expression and have potentially harmful consequences. An inability to flex your style when dealing with others causes unbalanced emotions that spill over into defensive behaviors because of the inability to move past the sting of unfulfilled desires.
Christians, as well as non-Christians, can suffer from self-based behaviors due to the failure to intentionally direct their personality. When you choose to respond to others instead of react, you have made a choice to look at interpersonal relationships in light of your Christian character and then you made a second choice to put on love regardless of how you are being treated.
-
Revisit Appendix 1D & Appendix 1S.
Christians are warned against grieving and quenching the Spirit, Ephesians 4:30, 1 Thessalonians 5:19). It’s your free will decision to activate the power of the Holy Spirit in you so you'll be able to flex your personality so you can act
conscientiously (Proverbs 16:9, Galatians 5:16-26, Ephesians 2:7-10, Colossians 1:27, 2 Peter 1:3-10). You’ll flex your style after you’ve accepted God as ... as your God, your highest authority, and have placed yourself under His command (Matthew 6:33).
When you are born again, the Holy Spirit of love moves into your heart and gives you power to overcome fears (2 Peter 1:3, 2 Timothy 1:7). This enables you to choose to love sacrificially, no longer asking the question, “What’s in it for me” (transactional thinking), but rather you learn to see through the eyes of Holy Love, thinking sacrificially, asking the question, “How can I help others to see that God is a God of love, freedom and provision” (Matthew 22:37-40, Ephesians 5:1-2, Romans 6:11).
2
Choose to make an intentional decision to let your Christianity rule over your feelings so your actions ShinE through!
Explanation of picture
When anxiety is expressed in an assertive personality, it will be expressed as pride mixed with anger (Gold) or as persistent and explosive rage (Orange). When anxiety is experienced in someone who is less assertive, the anxiety will generate feelings of fear mixed with worry and will be expressed differently depending on their responsiveness score. For example, both the "Green" and "Blue" will want to avoid conflict but they'll express that with non-verbal clues like withdrawing eye contact and/or any further verbal discussion. The results can be minimal at first but, if the relationship continues like this, a habit will form for both people in the relationship and this may lead to co-dependency*.
-
*Codependency is a complex problem and is simply mentioned here as one of the consequences from a blurred identity because of its impact on boundary-keeping behavior. When a Christian knows God, boundaries to love appear as sacrificial and responsible, not selfless and enabling (Galatians 6:1-5).
When you put on love, you are consciously walking in the Spirit and are driven by an assertive yet bounded passion to speak the truth in love (among other Christian principles, Ephesians 4:15). Your Spirit controlled personality is able to flex when you are in the midst of a difficult interpersonal situation. Remembering God will change your thoughts and emotions so you can* express love and unity for the common good. (*Can implies that you have a choice.) When allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your behavior, Christians become more assertive in their communication because of their desire to please God and win people to Christ rather than letting unbounded selfish ambition control decisions (Philippians 2:3, Romans 12:3-21). Believe and trust the Holy Spirit to lead you!