God made a choice to save humanity from the penalty of sin. However, a choice needs to be made by each individual person to gain access to this universal benefit (Ezekiel 11:19-20, Romans 10:8-10, 1 Timothy 2:4). While God’s act of mercy was offered for all, it only benefits those who personally respond to God’s gift from a humble and pure heart that can see clearly because of an unbiased ego (John 3:1-16, Appendix 2E). You can respond with humility and gratefully accept this gift, or you can choose to respond with arrogance and ignore or reject it, a common reaction to an unwanted authority figure. Only you can make the choice. Let God’s selfless act of love penetrate your heart so gratitude motivates you to kindness. Self-driven acts, unaltered by the knowledge of God, shows no regard for the dignity of another but rather a primary need for your own self-exaltation without boundaries (vainglory!). ​Don't let self-focused desires drive your ABC’s, as demonstrated by the attitude and behavior of Abel’s brother, Cain, as well as the betraying disciple, Judas (Houdmann, S. Michael, n.d., Matthew 26:14-16, Romans 12:3, Ephesians 5:15-21, 2 Peter 2:20-24, Jude 1:8-11).

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It's your gratitude and trust in a Savior that triggers a perspective change that opens your mind to accept God's unconditional love. Your humility towards the Holy Christian God shifts your focus away from yourself and results in your ability to magnify God’s name above all others, including your own (Psalm 100:4, Romans 1:5, 12:1-2, 1 Peter 1:14-16). This learning is rarely learned by studying logic. The need for humility isn’t self-evident until you become aware that there is a connection between your attitude, behavior and consequences. This awareness opens the door for others to speak into your life, which reactivates your openness to growth and wisdom (Proverbs 19:21-22).  

 

When God is chosen as your highest authority, all debating about truth ceases and is replaced with a confident, obedient faith that shapes behavior (see Godly Fear Triggers Actions of Obedience). This attitude-inspired, behavioral change in you, changes how you interact with others. Sharing an opinion that you’re passionate about with a friend who shares a different opinion than yours can be handled properly when you are mindful of humility. As a Christian, you no longer need to be ruled by self-preservation and suppressed fear, but by trust and love because of the security you have in Christ. You are free to be vulnerable and authentic (genuine, trustworthy, and reliable) because in Christ you are no longer ruled by the opinions of other people but by the security of being a child of God (Galatians 1:10, 1 Thessalonians 2:4). A disagreement can end by agreeing to disagree because your value is derived from God’s opinion of you, not your friend’s. ​God's goal in this situation is to show you how to keep the peace while speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:1-4).  

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If you find yourself disagreeing with a principle in the Bible, how you respond to your awareness of God’s Truth will determine your peacefulness. As a Christian, you can’t expect to experience cognitive consistency if you disagree with God. Instead, learn His standards and make a course correction in your own attitude and behavior. The Lord has given you His Spirit to guide you into all truth and holiness, but it’s up to you to decide to make it happen by changing your habits (John 16:13, 2 Timothy 2:15-17, Titus 2:11-13, Philippians 3:2). Trust implies that even when you are unsure, you act on the direction of the person you trust. A Christian can push through the discomfort of uncertainty by faith-filled thinking that triggers like action (Romans 8:5). Knowledgeable faith in God is the way to be sure of who you can trust (Philippians 3:9, Hebrews 11:1, 2 Peter 3:18). When you know God's Word, you learn to spot Truth. Your heart-felt faith (belief in and trust of God's goodness, not your false pride/ego), is what gives you the motivation to learn and practice Christlike habits so you can prove God to yourself as well as unbelievers (2 Corinthians 3:2-3).

• Relook at how tension triggers resistance to change in Appendices 1N and 1O. 

• Relook at Appendix 2J "Self or Spirit-Controlled Personality?" to consider what might be causing the source of tension.

 

The serenity prayer is a way to cap your urge to control everything and, instead, turn it over to God (the God who loves you and wants the best for you). According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, serenity means “the quality or state of being calm and peaceful”. The words of the Serenity Prayer (for a peaceful life) by Reinhold Niebuhr:​

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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. ​