Appendix 1O; Understanding Change
It may be useful to examine addiction along with a psychological model first identified by Kurt Lewin, a researcher and psychologist.
He proposed that successful change should be conducted in three steps: unfreezing, movement, and refreezing. This is a continuous cycle where you can either remain stuck (frozen) in bad habits or you can choose to do something (movement) to change into a new habit (unfreeze). The way Lewin pictures this cycle of change helps form an understanding of what happens when you decide to stop an unhealthy addictive behavior.
Change is a process.
Breaking bad habits begins with a decision to fight triggering thoughts and
to battle physical cravings. Unfreezing is this decision to change. For example, you may set a goal and say, “I need to change my ways. It’s time for me to stop this bad habit.” This awareness is the motivation needed to gain the energy to enter into and persist through the learning steps. This "movement" can be unsettling because of the time and persistence needed to make the new behavior "freeze” into a comfortable routine. New habits take time to form in both attitude and behavior. While change occurs first as a mindful decision, it comes with a period of performance tension because of the skill-building transition. There is a need to bring your expectations in line with the time it takes to change. (Similar to making the statement, "Just get over it!" There is a period of time this will take to make it happen.) Align your expectations to the reality of the time it takes to make change stick! (For example, the practice period before you are ready to perform a triathlon, you need to train your mind and body to do what it takes and this a progressive journey. Relapses tend to make their biggest threats during this period of practice.)
Psychiatrist Kubler-Ross took Kurt Lewin’s change model and applied it to the steps that someone goes through when they enter into the grief process because of a death. She theorized that before a person could accept the need to change, he or she would need to pass through stages of shock and/or denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. Kubler-Ross said that once you accept “death” (the need to change), you will unfreeze and start to disengage the old habits and begin to learn new ones (movement). Once a learned habit becomes repeated often under various settings, the new habit replaces the old (refreezing). The new habit becomes internalized-it’s performed almost unconsciously, and this is your new normal (White, (2009)). For a Christian in recovery, this change is realized when you leave your old lifestyle (habits and environment) behind, so you can build skills in an environment that supports your new life in Christ (Galatians 2:20, Romans 8:15, 8:37, Ephesians 4:22-24, Philippians 4:9, 1 Peter 3:13-17).
Self-gratification Blinds Insightful Decisions and Blocks Change
Sometimes when you are unaware that your behavior is not right according to God’s or society's laws, you will not feel compelled to change until negative consequences make the point obvious and you begin to see the cause-and-effect relationship. After doing what is considered wrong or illegal, when you accept (not deny) responsibility, your awareness of the standard awaken your conscious, evoking the typical response of regret. (That is, if your conscious isn't seared (Romans 1:28, 1 Timothy 4:2). When the person is God honoring, this regret leads to repentance and this is the same stimulus that creates the desire for change (2 Chronicles 7:14, Hebrews 9:13-14, 1 John 3:4-6). Regret without repentance is your denial of the need to change your poor behavioral habits that are leading you away from what you say you value and leaves you stuck in your emotions, stalling your growth. For Christian who is reluctant to give up ungodly desires, this decision stalls the power of the Holy Spirit (another way of saying " it grieves the Holy Spirit") as it leads you away from an intentional decision to stand firm in the behavior of faith.
Gratitude for Christ Unlocks your Motivation to Change
The message of the New Testament is to learn use the power of the Holy Spirit to walk within the guide rails of God's standards because of your "sure hope" in a Holy God who has proven His character integrity as trustworthy (Ephesians 5:1-2, 8-10, Hebrews 11:1, 6). The right course of action can be defined by who you trust for truth. For Christians, God is the source of truth (1 Kings 17:24, John 14:26, 17:17, Psalm 119:60). A Christian who accepts Christ as Savior but does not align their thinking and values with Him, will not complete the whole process of change inspired by God (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Instead, the change is incomplete (90 degrees instead of 180) and a worldly perspective (a continuation in selfish ambition towards secularism) produces anxiety or what is called Christian cognitive dissonance (James 3:16).
With understanding comes a fresh perspective that invites change so you can meet the new goals that are associated with a Christian mindset (1 Corinthians 2:16). Internal peace comes from a decision to trust God because you have learned (not denied) that you need to hope in and trust God who is the source of truth and love. As you read the information written in the Bible and accept it as true (true for everybody including yourself), you'll incorporate those biblical truths into your standards and behavioral habits so the decisions you make show what you value (Christian cognitive consistency).
-
The Apostle Peter wrote this to Christians in 1 Peter 1:21-22:
Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory. You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.
-
Glean more insight into how a thwarted definition of love is a common reason for grieving the Holy Spirit of Love in Appendix 1L and Appendix 2R.
The power of Christianity becomes effective in your life when you demonstrate your heartfelt conviction - your decision, to trust God and change both psychologically and socially (James 2:17-20). As a Christian, your first 90 degree turn is to use your to trust God for salvation, securing your everlasting life (Isaiah 1:18, Revelation 20:6). Your second 90 degree turn is to trust that God will empower you to take actions on what your heart believes, resulting in your internal peace and contentment from Christian Cognitive consistency (action consistent with your knowledge of a disciple of Christ*).
*Action taken that is consistent with your knowledge of Christ requires a shift in your perspective. This perspective shift results from your decision to not just rely on God for everlasting life, but in keeping with that decision, you prioritize God as first in your life.
By aligning your decisions with your prioritized Christian values shows that you honor God above every thing/body else because you willingly conform your ideas of love to God's standards and principles. Your choices indicate your intention. The choice made in your heart is only seen by God and, because God is a Spirit, your physical imperfections aren't counted against you by Him, although your neighbor may have an opinion if you do not express God's principles in your speech and actions publicly.
Once you understand His Holy love, you can hold yourself to the same standard and pass it on to others, including yourself. A Christian that has made the first turn towards God by accepting His free gift of eternal life, can start living it out on earth by making the second turn to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. When you look at "life in Christ" from this perspective, you can understand how the peace of Christian Cognitive consistency is achievable by your own choices. Trusting God to lead you to ShinE on earth and in heaven.
It's not your ability to perform those Holy habits perfectly, it's the sincerity of your heart (Philippians 2:12-13, 1 John 1:9, 1 Corinthians 15:31, 2 Corinthians 4:16). The prophet Joel says in 2:12, “Now, therefore,” says the Lord, “Turn to Me with all your heart, With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Fast from (stop doing) your desire to please yourself but instead choose to please God; give Him the glory, motivated by remembering He is a God of love (merciful and gracious) and doesn't grade your performance. God is a God of love, not laws. He knows there will be no perfection in this physical world (Joel 2:12, 1 Corinthians 15:51-53).
-
Read more on God's judgement of the heart rather than appearances and performance @
https://www.gotquestions.org/God-looks-at-the-heart.html.
-
Read the Apostle Paul's struggle with sinful tendencies as a born-again believer in Romans 7:14-25.
-
Who you will trust? Will you act consistently with their principles? Will you demonstrate that trust publicly?
Trust that your knowledge of God will remind you to pray and ask Him to provide what you need to fight off the impulsiveness for short-term satisfaction that inclines you to succumb to your addiction (Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6:31-33).
-
For more on the deceit of sin and the impact to self-awareness see Appendix 1D & Appendix 1E.
-
For more on perception see Appendix 1G.
-
For an example of walking with insight see Appendix 1H.
-
For more on social dynamics read “Understanding Personality: Social verses Personal” in the “Managing Self in a Social World” tab.
-
For a more in-depth look at integrity, see Appendix 1S.
2