Decision making is a common occurrence in daily life. Decisions can range in scope and intensity and be as transparent and/or fashionable as you desire. They can be made consciously and analytically or unconsciously and expediently. Decisions that have proved in the past to meet the desired goal, will be repeated as habits, until the goal has changed and requires learning different skills that align with the new goal. One thing all decisions have in common is that they are able to be classified as successful or not based on the results achieved, and even that evaluation is subject to the judgement/agreement of a person, a group, or a societal norm.

 

Your habits tend to reveal your goals, and if you find yourself being misguided or misunderstood, check the goals associated with your routines and habits. Goal achieval doesn’t become good or bad/right or wrong until you have achieved results that are evaluated by someone you respect and value. Applying this point to the subject of trying to stop a bad habit (one that leads to a goal you no longer want in your life) means that in order to obtain a new outcome, you need to change habits (both thinking and doing) and the goal. Another big obstacle to change is the nature and efficiencies of habits. Without intention (a goal-driven skill set) the automacy of habits (efficiency is the nature of a habit) will always be your default response to a stimuli.

• In his research paper entitled, "The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change", ET Berkman (2018) breaks down the performance of a skill into two components, a will and a way. Read more about it @ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5854216/#abstract1 .

 

Efficiency in Decision-making

Some decisions, those that you have made repeatedly because they achieved the results intended in the past (an old goal), are made swiftly and repeated often. Habits form and they became so engrained in your behavior that your body needs to be reconditioned when a change in direction is called for. Forming the new habit that will meet your new goal takes intentionality so you can purposely override the impulsive action of the old habit (that you are comfortable with physically but no longer want to implement). Intentionality is goal-directed behavior implemented by using self-imposed discipline and patience to get the outcome you've set your mind on.

 

A note of caution about the neutrality of neuroplasticity associated with change;

In the beginning of the change process you'll find yourself still doing what you don't want to do because of the strong role of old habits (Romans 7:23-25). Repeating past behavior that you no longer want to do requires not only your intention but your patience, practice and endurance. That's because you are training both your brain and your body to implement new behavior. Your body movements work in conjunction with the electrical and chemical reactions that need to take place in the brain to make it happen. (Neural pathways are responsible for structuring your physical habits so an efficient pattern can be developed.) When you decide to change something about yourself, it's helpful to remember this fact because it will help explain why the change you want takes longer than anticipated! Mistakes are commonplace when you first start to form a new habit. Give yourself (and your brain) time to learn these new habits so you can achieve your new goals. 

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According to the psycho-social theory of development, you can influence the level of stress you experience by the decisions you make. Decision-making is very often hampered by personal biases resulting in systemic errors in your judgement, reinforcing a relative reality and stalling learning. For a Christian, the attitude accompanying this change is confidence coupled with faith whereas self-propelled people fall victim to false pride-unrealistic expectations founded upon wishful thinking. Warning: delayed gratification is in direct conflict with old habits, so beware of the initial reluctance to carryout the change process. Behavioral change must be accompanied by an attitude change in order to make the new habit stick! When you decide to honor God first and ask Him to strengthen your ability to withstand temptation, God will direct your steps (Psalm 32:8, Proverbs 3:3-5). While you are practicing these new Christian skills consistently as a new response to old triggers, they eventually become habits but only if you persist through the learning curve and manage the performance tension you may feel. Don't confuse performance tension with anxiety. The Attitude you possess during this time will either push you back to old habits or propell you forward into the new.

• Read more about the phases of learning at Appendix 1F and the change process in Appendix 1N.​

• Read more on wishful thinking in Appendix 1D and Appendix 1E.

• Review the flow chart at the end of the Intentional Value-Based decision making section.

• Take the series of questions regarding how you make decisions in your life at "Do You Make Value-based Decisions?"

• To gain motivation to delay instant gratification, read the “... Eternal Perspective” section at the end of this page.

• Sticking with the change process is a form of delayed gratification that helps build integrity. Read more about behavioral integrity in Appendix 1S.

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Environment Influences Habits

Trying to perform a new habit in a supportive environment eases this transitional phase of habit formation. If you choose to leave rehabilitation and, instead, choose to enter back into your old neighborhood where your bad habits are practiced as the norm, you'll have an extra level of tension in your recovery, both psycho and social. A scene stimulates memories and those stimulate the automacy of comfortable habits which can jump start the addiction cycle again (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016). Applying intentional decision-making to this scenario improves your chances of warding off temptation, but, as the Bible points out, it's not a guarantee. 2 Timothy 2:22 says to instead, "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts." 

 

Your job is to wait through this thought generation process of implementing change and be ready to flee the scene when haunted by old environmental triggers when they appear (1 Timothy 6:11-12). If your first thought after rehabilitation is "to move back to your old neighborhood", then you may want to dismiss it because the "environmental cues would be plentiful and harmful to your recovery" Wood, W. & Neal, D. T. (2007)). For example when you use the decision to go back to your old neighborhood (even though you do realize that your family and friends participate in a secular lifestyle that practices the same behavior that you spent time in rehabilitation to unlearn), moving back to that neighborhood would inhibit your original decision to break free from your unhealthy addiction. Your job is not to abruptly try to stop this thought from entering your mind, but it is to replace this thought with another that is more consistent to your goal (even though it may be harder to implement, it will prove to be a better choice for your social and emotional well-being). This action of dismissing the first thought is actually a trigger for your brain to tell it to generate more specific options regarding a more helpful environment for your recovery. 

• As depicted here in the paragraph called "Play the Mind Game Before Acting" in the Art of Self-mastery-Perception ... section.  

• Review Appendix 1T; to see how Emotional Intelligence enhances your tenacity when pursuing goals. 

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As a person recovering from addiction, you will want to stay away from an environment ripe with triggers that will tempt you to reengage in the moral values and behavior that began the unhealthy addiction in the first place. The automacy of the mind is so strong that if you do not change your social cues/triggers, it'll be very hard to override the old habit(s). Be aware of the unique social temptations that creep up on your good intentions. If you do decide to move back to your old neighborhood/home, you have a high likelihood that you’ll fall back into old psychological and physical habits (no matter what your positive self talk) because, with time and lack of discipline, the need for social acceptance, will creep back to the top of your values and win out over your goal of living a new life of Christian integrity without an unhealthy addiction. Help your mind help you. Stay committed to your values, especially when you are going through a transitional period in your life. Reject anxious thoughts (like doubt and embarrassment) and reframe your thinking.

 

After repositioning God as the highest authority in your life, don't let pleasing Him slip back into second or third place. Don't change your goal of recovery either. The best thing to do, at first, is to live in an environment that limits old triggers; be that people (including family), places and/or things. A new environment means your brain will have to develop new pathways and new associations between triggers and behavior. With God, you can purposely choose to move to a new neighborhood with like-minded people whose actions reinforce your intensified values while withstanding the temporary loneliness you feel as you wait for new social connections to be built (Proverbs 12:16, 17:9, 19:11, John 16:33, 1 Peter 1:13, 4:8, Philippians 2:2). 

 

Intentionality pulls you up while impulsivity pushes you back. When you select a thought that uses the new knowledge associated with breaking patterns of addiction, you will be "pulled" up to your new goal. (This is the "Push - Pull Reality" reality described in Appendix 1N, a natural tension associated with learning.) Creating a new social setting is the thought that pulls you up or motivates you to achieve your new goal; it becomes a "criterion" for the decision as to where to live after rehab to increase your chances of maintaining your sobriety. Don't let the newness of habits and/or social discomfort slow down your goal pursuit. With time, this behavior will become second nature and you'll redefine friends as those people who support your goals and values in a supportive social setting.

 

The decision to have your social environment be reflective of your personal goals is an example of full 180 degree change in you which completes the psycho (90%) - social balance (90%). The minute you add anything to your goal, you become double-minded and can be swayed to compromise your values and this shifts your balance causing, not just performance tension from change but, stress from the discomfort of your imbalance. Christian cognitive consistency empowers you to withstand the loneliness of choosing to live in a new environment because you've already deliberated and made the decision to trade temporary loneliness for long term character integrity. With God positioned as the top criteria for decision-making, you have brought stability and consistency to your choices which fuels your confidence as you seek plans to achieve your goals (Hebrews 6:19). ​

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Reflect What You Believe in Your Decisions

Do you choose to go through the performance tension of change to achieve your goal of Christian living without unhealthy addictions or do you give in to the fear of being alone? Temporary alone time, making new friends, and changing your social habits may not be something you saw coming after you graduated from a rehabilitation program, but making these initially uncomfortable social choices completes your recovery because you have replaced cognitive dissonance with cognitive consistency and have achieved a Godly psych-social balance. ​

• To help you change your perception during this phase of your recovery, do the exercises in the “Capture Your Vision” tab.

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As a Christian, to check if your behavioral decisions reflect your Christian faith, ask two general questions;

1. IS MY FIRST THOUGHT CUSTOMARY AND SECULAR OR INTENTIONAL AND CHRISTIAN?

• If the first thought is raw/instinctual/secular, interrupt that thought, and replace it with a more God honoring thought. Discard (let go*) your 1st thought completely so it doesn't influence your decision-making (Romans 6:12, James 1:15). *Count to 5 as you visualize the first thought leaving, being pushed out by cognitively consistent options.

    2. WHAT IS MY INTENTION/MOTIVATION: To please myself, another person, or God?

• Are you in the habit (this is usually unconscious) of proving yourself right or seeking control?

• Do you show that you value God’s love for you, regardless of the crowd you are socializing with? (Matthew 4:10, Romans 13:14, read https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-motives.html ).

• See below for more detail on framing thoughts using an Eternal Perspective.  

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Train your brain to listen to your heart so Christianity can be the final decision-maker of both your attitude and your behavior. Consistency between the two in response to Truth brings peace for you and your neighbor. Narrow down your behavioral options by thinking through, intentionally interrupting the automacy of decision-making, by following a line of questioning. With practice, what seems like a long analytical process will develop into an efficient goal-oriented, comfortable and quick value-driven habit. 

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1. WILL YOUR DECISION IN THAT DAY OR HOUR GLORIFY GOD OR WILL IT SATISFY YOUR HUMANITY?​

• Is this decision and resulting action motivated by self-preservation/self-love or by gratitude to God?​

• Are you trusting God? ​

• Will it glorify God, or will it glorify yourself by satisfying the lust of your eyes and/or your flesh, or by satisfying the pride of your life? ​

• Are you tempted to act in fear and doubt, or do you have confidence in God’s faithfulness and show it by obeying His Word? Do you make the decision to act with immediacy on God’s Word? ​

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2. Will YOUR DECISION BE "EXTREME OR BALANCED”? 

• Have you evaluated your options to see if you are acting in moderation?

• Are you operating with hope and confidence so you can delay your gratification or are you over-indulging?

• Is your decision an intentional response that is reflective of your values? 

• Does your decision put God first (honor God over yourself) while balancing your responsibilities in the other areas of your life?​

• Will you implement the decision to gain social approval/acceptance? ​Who are you aiming to please? (Self, others or God?)

• Do you use patience and self-control to discern the why's of what you do?

• Can you flexing your personality style?​ For example, do you know when to speak the truth in love and when to keep the peace by remaining quiet?

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4. WILL YOUR DECISION SHOW LOVE TO YOUR NEIGHBOR?​

• Is your action satisfying an emotion that reinforces selfishness or selflessness? ​

• Does your action satisfy your need only or that of another person?​

• The action of love begins with an act of the will. Does your choice reflect the will to love your neighbor in honor of God, despite how you are treated by others or how you feel?

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5. ARE YOU REACTING TO THE SITUATION BECAUSE YOU ARE OFFENDED, OR DO YOU DEFLECT INSULTS? ​

• Are you acting out of spite and reacting impulsively/instinctually/habitually?  ​

• Did you put the shield of faith over your heart to let love flow out but stop insults and frustration from getting in?​

• Do you honor God above yourself, so you can love others regardless of personal preference?​

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6. DO YOUR MOTIVES AND ACTIONS ALIGN WITH THE NAME/TITLE "CHRISTIAN"?  

• Do you walk the talk of Christianity and so reveal your CHRISTIAN CHARACTER INTEGRITY?

• Do your feelings and attitude correspond with Christ's example? Confident, calm and peaceful, etc?

• Do you feel the impact of a double-minded Christian? Anxious, angry, fearful, shamed, disappointed, etc?

 

Because of the nature of God and His operating principles, your Christian decisions will require the discipline of hope-filled faith; displaying confidence and patience while waiting to see your results. Make it a habit to lean into and depend on God during this waiting period so you keep doubt at bay (1 Corinthians 10:13). Deliberate thinking on Truth creates more options. For example, after graduating from a residential rehabilitation program, you may long to go home. But, when you stop to evaluate that decision (intentionally choosing instead of impulsively selecting a thought or habit that eases personal tension), the pause creates the potential for additional option generation, directed by your added thought. If you dismiss the thought, then the brain's job is to produce another. Your brain is like a computer; it is only as helpful as the information you put into it. That's why the first part of rehabilitation, knowledge building, provides you with information to consider in making decisions that are in alignment with your goal, but part 2 requires you to practice implementing your new knowledge to produce skills, so you can form an efficient habit that meets the goal criteria so the desired change is achieved, not abandoned because of the time it takes to form the habit. 

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