Any action you take is the result of a decision. Behind every decision is a goal, be it conscious or not. Some decisions, those that you have made repeatedly because they achieved the results intended in the past (an old goal), are made swiftly and repeated often. Habits form and they became so engrained that your body needs to be reconditioned when a change is called for. Forming the new habit that will meet the new goal, takes intentionality to purposely override the impulse to act on a preexisting habit that you are comfortable with physically, but no longer want to implement. Intentionality is goal-directed behavior implemented by using self-imposed discipline and patience to get what you set your mind on.

 

In the beginning of the change process, you'll find yourself still doing what you don't want to do (Romans 7:23-25). Repeating mistakes is commonplace due to the time it takes to create patterns in your brain. Neural pathways need to form so the habit become second nature and it is associated with a new trigger or cue that helps meet the new

goal. Setting a new goal, learning and practicing the steps to attain the goal/habit will prepare you for a successful habit change but the automacy of the brain is so strong that if you do not change your environmental cues (these are social triggers), it'll be very hard to stop the old habit. When you reevaluate the where AND the why you do what you do, you give yourself the option to change - which slows down/curbs your impulsive and habitual reactions.

• Sticking with the change process is a form of delayed gratification, but when you do, your successful goal and action alignment establishes yourself as a person of integrity so that your actions speak your goals. Read more about behavioral integrity in Appendix 1S.

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As a Christian, to check if your behavioral decisions reflect your Christian faith, ask two general questions;

1. IS MY FIRST THOUGHT IMPULSIVE OR INTENTIONAL?

• Evaluate whether the first thought that enters your mind is secular or Christian.

• If the first thought is raw/instinctual/secular? If so, interrupt your thought by waiting for a more appropriate Godly thought to come to mind that is in line with your values - not one that is a thought from a familiar but old habitual desire that was used to drive your decision-making prior (Romans 6:12, James 1:15). (Count to 5 and use the time to evaluate whether or not to speak your thoughts.)

2.WHAT IS MY INTENTION/MOTIVATION?

• Is my motive to please myself, another person, or God?

• Are you in the habit (this is usually unconscious) of proving yourself right or seeking control?

• Do you show you value God’s love for you, regardless of the crowd you are socializing with? (Matthew 4:10, Romans 13:14, read https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-motives.html ).

 

Be intentional!

Train your brain to narrow down your behavioral options by following this line of questioning;

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1. WILL YOUR DECISION IN THAT DAY OR HOUR GLORIFY GOD OR WILL IT SATISFY YOUR HUMANITY?​

• Is this decision and resulting action motivated by self-preservation/self-love or by gratitude to God?​

• Are you trusting God? ​

• Will it glorify God, or will it glorify yourself by satisfying the lust of your eyes and/or your flesh, or by satisfying the pride of your life? ​

• Are you tempted to act in fear and doubt, or do you have confidence in God’s faithfulness and show it by obeying His Word? Do you make the decision to act with immediacy on God’s Word? ​

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2. Will YOUR DECISION BE "EXTREME OR BALANCED”? 

• Have you evaluated your options to see if you are acting in moderation?

• Are you operating with hope and confidence so you can delay your gratification or are you over-indulging?

• Is your decision an intentional response that is reflective of your values? 

• Does your decision put God first (honor God over yourself) while balancing your responsibilities in the other areas of your life?​

• Will you implement the decision to gain social approval/acceptance? ​Who are you aiming to please? (Self, others or God?)

• Do you use patience and self-control to discern the why's of what you do?

• Can you flexing your personality style?​ For example, do you know when to speak the truth in love and when to keep the peace by remaining quiet?

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4. WILL YOUR DECISION SHOW LOVE TO YOUR NEIGHBOR?​

• Is your action satisfying an emotion that reinforces selfishness or selflessness? ​

• Does your action satisfy your need only or that of another person?​

• The action of love begins with an act of the will. Does your choice reflect the will to love your neighbor in honor of God, despite how you are treated by others or how you feel?

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5. ARE YOU REACTING TO THE SITUATION BECAUSE YOU ARE OFFENDED, OR DO YOU DEFLECT INSULTS? ​

• Are you acting out of spite and reacting impulsively/instinctually/habitually?  ​

• Did you put the shield of faith over your heart to let love flow out but stop insults and frustration from getting in?​

• Do you honor God above yourself, so you can love others regardless of personal preference?​

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6. DO YOUR MOTIVES AND ACTIONS ALIGN WITH THE NAME/TITLE "CHRISTIAN"?  

• Do you walk the talk of Christianity and so reveal your CHRISTIAN CHARACTER INTEGRITY?

• Do your feelings and attitude correspond with Christ's example? Confident, calm and peaceful, etc?

• Do you feel the impact of a double-minded Christian? Anxious, angry, fearful, shamed, disappointed, etc?

 

With practice, what seems like a long analytical process will develop into an efficient goal-oriented, comfortable and quick value-driven habit. Because of the nature of God and His operating principles, your Christian decisions will require the discipline of hope filled faith; confidence and patience displayed while waiting. Learn to lean into and depend on God (1 Corinthians 10:13). When you decide to honor God first and ask Him to strengthen your ability to withstand temptation, God will direct your steps (Psalm 32:8, Proverbs 3:3-5). While you are practicing these Christian habits so they can become automatic, you will experience human performance tension, not anxiety, because of the A (attitude) propelling the physical performance change. For a Christian, the attitude accompanying this change is confidence coupled with faith where as self-propelled people fall victim to unrealistic expectations founded upon wishful thinking. Warning: delayed gratification is in direct conflict with impulsive actions that comes from old habits, so your default attitude will be reluctance but use a Christian mindset to motivate you through the change process.

• Read more about the phases of learning at Appendix 1F and the change process in Appendix 1N.​

• Read more on wishful thinking in Appendix 1D and Appendix 1E.

• Review the flow chart at the end of the Intentional Value-Based decision making section.

• Take the series of questions regarding how you make decisions in your life at "Do You Make Value-based Decisions?"

• To delay instant gratification, read more about framing your decisions with an “... Eternal Perspective” at the end of this page.

According to the psycho-social theory of development, you can influence the level of stress you experience by the decisions you make. Deliberate thinking creates more options. For example, after graduating from a residential rehabilitation program, you may long to go home. But, when you stop to evaluate that decision (intentionally choosing verses impulsively clinging to a thought that eases personal tension), the pause creates other options. If you dismiss the thought, then the brain's job is to produce another. Your brain is like a computer; it is only as helpful as the information you put into it. That's why the first part of rehabilitation, knowledge building, is giving you information to consider but part 2 requires you to practice implementing your new knowledge into skills, expressed privately and publicly, so you can form an efficient habit (180 degree change). It's the ability to apply your new habit comfortably in a variety of situations and environments. 

 

Environment influences habits

A scene stimulates memories and those stimulate the automacy of comfortable habits which can jump start the addiction cycle (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016). Your job is to wait through this thought generation process of implementing change and be ready to flee the scene when haunted by old environmental triggers when they appear (1 Timothy 6:11-12). If your first thought after rehabilitation is "to move back to your old neighborhood", then you may want to dismiss it because the "environmental cues" would be plentiful and harmful to your recovery; Wood, W. & Neal, D. T. (2007)). For example, making a decision to go back to your old neighborhood, even though you do realize that your family and friends participate in a secular lifestyle that practices the same behavior that you spent time in rehabilitation to unlearn, would inhibit your original decision to break free from your unhealthy addiction. Your job is not to abruptly try to stop this thought from entering your mind, but it is to replace this thought with another that is more consistent to your goal (even though it may be harder to implement, iyt will prove to be a better choice for your social and emotional well-being. The action of dismissing the thought is a trigger for your brain to generate more specific options regarding a more helpful environment for your recovery. 

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As a person recovering from addiction, you will want to stay away from an environment ripe with triggers that will tempt you to reengage in the moral values and behavior that began the unhealthy addiction in the first place. If you do decide to move back to your old neighborhood/home, you have a high likelihood that you’ll fall back into old psychological and physical habits (no matter what your positive self talk) because, with time, the social need for acceptance (to avoiding the pain of loneliness) will eventually creep back to the top of your values and win out over your goal of living a new life of Christian integrity without an unhealthy addiction. Help your mind help you. After repositioning God as the highest authority in your life, don't let pleasing Him slip back into second or third place. Don't change your goal of recovery either. The best thing to do, at first, is to live in an environment that limits old triggers; be that people (including family), places and/or things. A new environment means your brain will have to develop new pathways and new associations between triggers and behavior. With God, you can purposely choose to move to a new neighborhood with like-minded people whose actions reinforce your intensified values while withstanding the temporary loneliness you feel as you wait for new social connections to be built (Proverbs 12:16, 17:9, 19:11, John 16:33, 1 Peter 1:13, 4:8, Philippians 2:2).

 

Intentionality pulls, impulsivity pushes. When you select a thought that uses the new knowledge associated with breaking patterns of addiction, you will be "pulled" up to your new goal. (This is the "Push - Pull Reality" reality described in Appendix 1N, a natural tension associated with learning.) Creating a new social setting is the thought that pulls you up or motivates you to achieve your new goal; it becomes a "criterion" for the decision as to where to live after rehab to increase your chances of maintaining your sobriety. The decision to have your social environment be reflective of your personal goals is an example of full 180 degree change in you which completes the psycho (90%) - social balance (90%). The minute you add anything to your goal, you become double-minded and can be swayed to compromise your values and this shifts your balance - which can causes not just performance tension from change but stress from the discomfort of your imbalance. Christian cognitive consistency empowers you to withstand the loneliness of choosing to live in a new environment because you've traded temporary loneliness for long term character integrity. God is positioned as the top criteria for decision-making. As the foundational criteria, you have brought stability and consistency to your decisions which fuels your confidence as you seek to achieve your goals (Hebrews 6:19).  

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Do you choose to go through the performance tension of change to achieve your goal of Christian living without unhealthy addictions or do you give in to the fear of being alone? Temporary alone time, making new friends, and changing your social habits may not be something you saw coming after you graduated from a rehabilitation program, but making these initially uncomfortable social choices completes your recovery because you have replaced cognitive dissonance with cognitive consistency and have achieved the psych-social balance.

• To help you change your perception during this phase of your recovery, do the exercises in the “Capture Your Vision” tab.